... at the very end of my excursion, long ago with Aikawa and Kim Dokja... something similar came at the very end. I was not familiar with the tale of Orpheus... but we were met with our hostages, and were forced to walk forward. We could not look behind, even though toward the very end, we could no longer hear them behind us.
Ultimately were able to succeed - perhaps because we all persisted nonetheless.
Many of the excursions have been focused, I suppose, on the notion of leaving our hostages behind to save the others here. Perhaps that is the answer, in the end.
Though it is late for me, we still have the choice to turn away from selfish actions.
[ . . . . he pauses at that, quiet. there is a moment where he seems to be debating something - exactly how much he wants to say.
even when he speaks, it is almost with an unfamiliarity to knowing how to discuss his own life]
... I have trusted my Aruji to follow me before.
But my situation is not wholly unlike yours. A sage who is the master of our Citadel, the one who gave us these bodies - and my comrades' existence is dependent upon him. I have stayed my blade thus far...
[she bites her lip, grateful for the information but also conflicted by it.]
...He is quite angry about what was done. He told me as such, thinking to confide in me as a fellow killer, and all I could think was how merciful you were to expose him rather than to take his life in turn.
[he tilts his head, thoughtful. there is a brief flash of amusement at the mention of hua cheng’s anger, but it’s brief.]
I will not pretend that if I am to pick who is to die, it shall be any other than him. Compared to others, who were taken by shadow, and yourself who did not seek to frame another. I am not so removed that I cannot feel bias.
… but I would rather this, to ensure that all understand that Shinobu Kocho is innocent. And while Hua Cheng himself is aged - I have seen the stagnation and corruption of those who allow their years to eat at them. I would rather he have a chance to grow and learn, so he might be a bit more becoming of his years.
I...cannot say it is true that I did not try to frame anyone.
[she makes a bit of a face.]
I don't think I deserve more mercy than he does. I chose someone who hurt a friend I care deeply for, because it made it easier on my own conscience. I should like to think I would not have done it if the stakes weren't what they were, but I don't know his, either.
But you loved the people he hurt, and I think you are capable of more mercy than I knew.
In that case, I found you more subtle. [instead of. wisteria. becoming small. literally changing shape to take on someone’s appearance
also dana cannot think of who was framed so
but his expression softens]
But in truth… to me, you and many others here are still very young, Harrowhark Nonagesimus. You may be moved and make choices that you might later not be proud of - but this is your time to learn, and make peace with who you are.
Hua Cheng has had your time and eons more, and made a choice I still did not find acceptable. [(jiji voice) act your age] My heart is also moved for the reasons you suggested. Those are why I have chosen to do as I have against him, and not you.
... and it matters to me little what you choose to do differently. I only hope for you to find some measure of happiness, particularly with those you hold dear.
Loss is not the only experience that leaves it own toll.
You do work very hard - and that may in and of itself be a result of duty. But being here, feeling the uncertainty that comes with each week and only moreso now as we approach the end... I think it is still reason to ask.
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[where he can anyway.]
We have but one more week left - it would not do to fall apart now.
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[she bites her lips.]
I don't want to do anything to jeopardize that.
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... at the very end of my excursion, long ago with Aikawa and Kim Dokja... something similar came at the very end. I was not familiar with the tale of Orpheus... but we were met with our hostages, and were forced to walk forward. We could not look behind, even though toward the very end, we could no longer hear them behind us.
Ultimately were able to succeed - perhaps because we all persisted nonetheless.
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Though it is late for me, we still have the choice to turn away from selfish actions.
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even when he speaks, it is almost with an unfamiliarity to knowing how to discuss his own life]
... I have trusted my Aruji to follow me before.
But my situation is not wholly unlike yours. A sage who is the master of our Citadel, the one who gave us these bodies - and my comrades' existence is dependent upon him. I have stayed my blade thus far...
[ . . . ]
We shall see - if it shall come to that.
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[she bites her lip, grateful for the information but also conflicted by it.]
...He is quite angry about what was done. He told me as such, thinking to confide in me as a fellow killer, and all I could think was how merciful you were to expose him rather than to take his life in turn.
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I will not pretend that if I am to pick who is to die, it shall be any other than him. Compared to others, who were taken by shadow, and yourself who did not seek to frame another. I am not so removed that I cannot feel bias.
… but I would rather this, to ensure that all understand that Shinobu Kocho is innocent. And while Hua Cheng himself is aged - I have seen the stagnation and corruption of those who allow their years to eat at them. I would rather he have a chance to grow and learn, so he might be a bit more becoming of his years.
[but if he’s just angy then]
Well, we shall see what becomes of him.
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[she makes a bit of a face.]
I don't think I deserve more mercy than he does. I chose someone who hurt a friend I care deeply for, because it made it easier on my own conscience. I should like to think I would not have done it if the stakes weren't what they were, but I don't know his, either.
But you loved the people he hurt, and I think you are capable of more mercy than I knew.
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In that case, I found you more subtle. [instead of. wisteria. becoming small. literally changing shape to take on someone’s appearance
also dana cannot think of who was framed so
but his expression softens]
But in truth… to me, you and many others here are still very young, Harrowhark Nonagesimus. You may be moved and make choices that you might later not be proud of - but this is your time to learn, and make peace with who you are.
Hua Cheng has had your time and eons more, and made a choice I still did not find acceptable. [(jiji voice) act your age] My heart is also moved for the reasons you suggested. Those are why I have chosen to do as I have against him, and not you.
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I will try to do things differently, if we survive this place. As you say.
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anyway he will just nod at that, before smiling]
We will survive. [certainly, confidently]
... and it matters to me little what you choose to do differently. I only hope for you to find some measure of happiness, particularly with those you hold dear.
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We'll see what happens. One more week to go.
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You do work very hard - and that may in and of itself be a result of duty. But being here, feeling the uncertainty that comes with each week and only moreso now as we approach the end... I think it is still reason to ask.