It's really a very sad private joke, but maybe one that won't be too surprising given what Mikazuki knows of the Okita Souji from his own ventures. He closes his eyes for a moment, though he doesn't particularly look like someone who's confessing or taking a weight from their shoulders. It's the simple truth, as ugly as it is for the times he comes from and the people he holds dearest.]
I had thought myself unsuited for times of peace, and I do feel incomplete when parted from my blades. Still, after all of my time away... I would say the place that I am doesn't matter to me. I would not choose to anchor myself to anything in that river, when so many parts of it are unstable and so many anchor points are just shy of being recognizable. I can't trust such a thing. Moreover, I have no stake in, or love for, the people and things that those dearest to me would open their bellies for. Wherever Kondo-san and Hijikata-san choose to be is where I will follow, without a doubt, but I feel as though I would be content enough even if the three of us did nothing but farm in some far-off, distant land.
[Hehe... His secret.]
But I am a sword, in the end.
[The hilarity of saying this to an actual sword, but he's about as close as literally anything can come without being one of them.]
mikazuki knows what he would say to a sword. he would ask them more about their dreams, about what they would like to do with these new bodies, about what prompts them to understand that they are not only a blade anymore - but human.
he thinks just a little bit more on what he would like to say to souji, who has always been human, and yet still thinks this way. a loyalty so specific, that ideals and outside bonds do not touch his heart in the same way. to live and die for the hands that wield you, and nothing else.]
You are a sword, in the end, for that is what your context has required you to be. For your Kondo-san and your Hijikata-san to similarly pick up their blades, and carry out their ideals.
But I take it you have some understanding of how that legacy goes.
[Sometimes you're a sword tsukumogami accidentally born into the wrong body... His flesh prison is his hell.
What Mikazuki says is true, in any case. He does view himself as the sword of the Shinsengumi, a thing meant to be directed and guided and turned toward opponents in brutal flashes of merciless blade. But for the second part... His expression is a little hard to read for a moment, but there's still something of a smile on his face as he shakes his head.]
I know some, but much of it is unknown to me. I was given the opportunity in the castle to glimpse into the future, but I refused it. I have avoided seeking out information from books or from people about what lies ahead. Though my own fate became clear very quickly, I attempted to maintain my place in it - to this day, I don't know who took that illness from me. ...I wished to honor the weight Yasusada-kun carried.
[HE REALLY
TRIED
SO HARD. HE TRIED SO HARD...]
That's why I wrote you that letter. Knowing that I had lost my place in that world, I was intending to see to Kondo-san's safe return and then end my life. But I can no longer do this.
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no subject
That sure is a loaded question, though.]
If I tell you, you'll have to promise to keep it between you and I.
no subject
You could say that such a thing is my specialty.
no subject
[Their terrible private joke...
It's really a very sad private joke, but maybe one that won't be too surprising given what Mikazuki knows of the Okita Souji from his own ventures. He closes his eyes for a moment, though he doesn't particularly look like someone who's confessing or taking a weight from their shoulders. It's the simple truth, as ugly as it is for the times he comes from and the people he holds dearest.]
I had thought myself unsuited for times of peace, and I do feel incomplete when parted from my blades. Still, after all of my time away... I would say the place that I am doesn't matter to me. I would not choose to anchor myself to anything in that river, when so many parts of it are unstable and so many anchor points are just shy of being recognizable. I can't trust such a thing. Moreover, I have no stake in, or love for, the people and things that those dearest to me would open their bellies for. Wherever Kondo-san and Hijikata-san choose to be is where I will follow, without a doubt, but I feel as though I would be content enough even if the three of us did nothing but farm in some far-off, distant land.
[Hehe... His secret.]
But I am a sword, in the end.
[The hilarity of saying this to an actual sword, but he's about as close as literally anything can come without being one of them.]
no subject
mikazuki knows what he would say to a sword. he would ask them more about their dreams, about what they would like to do with these new bodies, about what prompts them to understand that they are not only a blade anymore - but human.
he thinks just a little bit more on what he would like to say to souji, who has always been human, and yet still thinks this way. a loyalty so specific, that ideals and outside bonds do not touch his heart in the same way. to live and die for the hands that wield you, and nothing else.]
You are a sword, in the end, for that is what your context has required you to be. For your Kondo-san and your Hijikata-san to similarly pick up their blades, and carry out their ideals.
But I take it you have some understanding of how that legacy goes.
no subject
What Mikazuki says is true, in any case. He does view himself as the sword of the Shinsengumi, a thing meant to be directed and guided and turned toward opponents in brutal flashes of merciless blade. But for the second part... His expression is a little hard to read for a moment, but there's still something of a smile on his face as he shakes his head.]
I know some, but much of it is unknown to me. I was given the opportunity in the castle to glimpse into the future, but I refused it. I have avoided seeking out information from books or from people about what lies ahead. Though my own fate became clear very quickly, I attempted to maintain my place in it - to this day, I don't know who took that illness from me. ...I wished to honor the weight Yasusada-kun carried.
[HE REALLY
TRIED
SO HARD. HE TRIED SO HARD...]
That's why I wrote you that letter. Knowing that I had lost my place in that world, I was intending to see to Kondo-san's safe return and then end my life. But I can no longer do this.